What we’re doing to the planet. We’re literally destroying our climate and causing mass extinction. It’s a problem we know how to solve, but we refuse to. Because we prefer our lifestyles to the health of the planet. It truly, truly disgusts me. I’m disgusted with our culture and I’m disgusted with myself fir being part of it.
I’m still angry about when my 57-year-old ex-husband said “You’re great! You have so much to offer. You should be able to find a man as successful and financially secure as me.” What he fails to recognize, that like HIM, men my age who are successful, financially secure, in good shape, and good looking, DATE WOMEN MUCH YOUNGER—women who are just 5 years older than his son! These men don’t want to date women that remind of the wife they just left. Because they CAN! Why do these young women want to date these old men who snore, are losing their hair, and need viagra??
It also pisses me off that he thinks I NEED a man. Arggghh! 🤬
Ending a long term partnership is so fucking hard. Most people don’t grieve it properly. That can look like entering relationships that are much easier to be in emotionally. And it can look like slipping into anger or disgust like you’re experiencing. I have experienced both sides of the coin. No one wants to be angry, I know. But it’s so much easier than the abject grief and terror of losing someone who you thought was your partner in life. I think skipping from relationship to relationship or moving into a much easier and pleasure based relationship is another way of avoiding the same grief. Taking a break from the grief by slipping into anger or otherwise avoiding the grief is so normal. I just try to remind myself the work and the progress is in the grief work.
Not sure if you’re familiar with Frances Weller. His grief work is so life changing and his perspectives just blow my mind.
Sending you so much love and care. Disentanglement after so many years is not easy when you allow yourself to feel the pain which you are clearly doing. I think we will all do better if we go deeper in sadness versus anger or anesthesia. It’s more true. But soooo hard.
Ah yes, but this isn’t about grief. I’ve dealt with the grief, and have moved through anger, and now just frustration. It’s about men who move on to younger women and us middle-aged divorcees left with with few choices in romantic love. I’m ready to love, after a few years of lots of fun, and feeling disillusioned.
I hope you manifest your next great love. Sounds like you are ready. 🥰 I have found a lot of wonderful guys our age who are looking for adults. (And luckily haven’t run into the other kind yet.) looking for an emoji of garlic necklace and a cross. 🤣🤣🤣
Bare feet, when people cut their nails in public, no leg room in Broadway theatres, when people litter (esp when they don't pick up their dog's poop), the sound of people kissing, when people lick their finger to turn a page, when people don't wash their hands after they use the restroom, etc. Wow, I have a lot of petty disgusts LOL.
You are not alone in your list sister. And I don’t think any of them is petty. They are different cues your system identifies as unsafe. The fun part is figuring out why they may trigger you more than other folks. (I would love to meet the person who is okay with dog shit on the sidewalk tho. Actually I would like to meet rhe person who LEAVES it. 🤬)Wheeeee! 🙃
Oh man, while I would like to pick something that makes me seem less petty/judgmental/elitist...my first thought is things that remind me of my suburban Florida hometown. Sprawling, identical stucco houses with barely any yards and shabby chic decor inside, people who dress in the standard uniform of cargo shorts/flip flops/boat shoes/t shirts (and seem to look down on those who don't??), Panera as the best local "cafe" option and Chik-fil-a worship, no cultural venues. While I moved to a major Florida city, I'm still very close to where they filmed Edward Scissorhands to give you an idea lol. I once received a comment that my look that day seemed very "central Florida" and I took that as one of the most offensive things ever said to me! I felt very suppressed growing up there and was very much ~a loser~ (never did I feel like I could fit in if I wanted to, with my roman nose and excessive hair in Baptist country). There was a scene in Hacks where Jean Smart's character calls out her young protege's elitist overvaluing of the opinions of audiences based in LA and New York as opposed to the midwest as a sign that she is still holding on to not being invited to the cool kids lunch table and I felt very called out haha.
To say i relate to this is an understatement. This isn't petty. It's tapping into the feeling of unworthiness we are still holding from our childhood. It's not about judging the people in central florida but rather judging the central florida in us. (not central florida for me, but you know what i mean). The path toward realizing our own worthiness is so tough but important.
People who don't clean/pick up after themselves, etc. I know this sounds trite and foolish in light of the other posts; but, please hear me out.
Where I live, people are constantly not picking up after themselves, their children and/or their pets. Aside from being unsightly and disgusting, consider the following:
Adults who don't clean up after their young children (i.e. food/trash), themselves or their pets; are in turn contributing to the spread in disease. Does anyone really think about what has been on the walkways before running around in bare feet, track germs into their homes.
Also, when trash is thrown or left on the ground, because we're just too lazy to pick it up, does anyone think about whether or not said trash is able to decompose in a green way?
Oooof...this resonates. I'm not sure how old you are but i'm 49. My friends and i cringe (CRINGE) about how when we were younger we would eat a bag of McDonalds or whatever and just fucking TOSS THE TRASH OUT THE WINDOW! I can't even believe it. It was a different time but how the hell could anyone think that was okay?? I wish i could ask that of my younger self.
I'm a bit older than you and I still can't leave anything on the ground (I hear myself yelling about the planet in my head) that I've even accidentally spilled. ;)
Mark Zuckerberg. I went to college with him and my anecdotal observation is that he is definitely on the spectrum, as am I. In addition to all the harm he’s brought on our democracy, other countries’ institutions, teens’ body image, etc., I hate that he is reinforcing notions of autistic people as icy, amoral, insensitive robots. In reality, the vast majority of us are practically crushed by the weight of our empathy and our deep sadness at the consequences of our innumerable broken systems. He had so much privilege and brainpower and he used it to wreck the world, disgust barely begins to cover it.
The recent event where a woman was raped on a PA train with a car full of bystanders who did nothing to stop the assault and just filmed it with their phones, as if that would help deliver justice AFTER THE FACT, instead of saving her BEFORE she was raped, disgusts me so much, it makes me sick to my stomach. The idea that people won't help other people who are visibly in so much pain or danger is unfathomable to me. I get that sometimes you don't know what's going on behind the scenes in someone's life, but in broad daylight like this horrible train event, is utterly disgusting. I'm having a hard time not thinking about it.
Rach, I totally hear you on this. I’m so curious about what was going on for them and what was triggered in them to completely freeze. It touched something deep in me too bc all my life I have wondered about strangers “If I needed you…REALLY needed you, would you be there for me?” And certainly this woman really needed them. It’s soul crushing.
YES. Exactly. You're supposed to feel safe in numbers. Like I always tell my kids to walk down blocks that are crowded, w/ doormen, etc. What if this was us one of our kids, or us? To think that a trainful of people would not help? I can't wrap my brain around it. It's disturbing, disgusting.
People who clip their nails on the subway…nothing more to say…
ummm...my ex husband used to clip his nails at his work desk when i met him...i should have taken that as a sign we are not meant to be!
OMG ATOOSA!!!
Just sayin’
What we’re doing to the planet. We’re literally destroying our climate and causing mass extinction. It’s a problem we know how to solve, but we refuse to. Because we prefer our lifestyles to the health of the planet. It truly, truly disgusts me. I’m disgusted with our culture and I’m disgusted with myself fir being part of it.
yes! the self-hatred part of this is so deep. we are all complicit.
I’m still angry about when my 57-year-old ex-husband said “You’re great! You have so much to offer. You should be able to find a man as successful and financially secure as me.” What he fails to recognize, that like HIM, men my age who are successful, financially secure, in good shape, and good looking, DATE WOMEN MUCH YOUNGER—women who are just 5 years older than his son! These men don’t want to date women that remind of the wife they just left. Because they CAN! Why do these young women want to date these old men who snore, are losing their hair, and need viagra??
It also pisses me off that he thinks I NEED a man. Arggghh! 🤬
Okay—I’m done now. 😬
Ending a long term partnership is so fucking hard. Most people don’t grieve it properly. That can look like entering relationships that are much easier to be in emotionally. And it can look like slipping into anger or disgust like you’re experiencing. I have experienced both sides of the coin. No one wants to be angry, I know. But it’s so much easier than the abject grief and terror of losing someone who you thought was your partner in life. I think skipping from relationship to relationship or moving into a much easier and pleasure based relationship is another way of avoiding the same grief. Taking a break from the grief by slipping into anger or otherwise avoiding the grief is so normal. I just try to remind myself the work and the progress is in the grief work.
Not sure if you’re familiar with Frances Weller. His grief work is so life changing and his perspectives just blow my mind.
Sending you so much love and care. Disentanglement after so many years is not easy when you allow yourself to feel the pain which you are clearly doing. I think we will all do better if we go deeper in sadness versus anger or anesthesia. It’s more true. But soooo hard.
Ah yes, but this isn’t about grief. I’ve dealt with the grief, and have moved through anger, and now just frustration. It’s about men who move on to younger women and us middle-aged divorcees left with with few choices in romantic love. I’m ready to love, after a few years of lots of fun, and feeling disillusioned.
I hope you manifest your next great love. Sounds like you are ready. 🥰 I have found a lot of wonderful guys our age who are looking for adults. (And luckily haven’t run into the other kind yet.) looking for an emoji of garlic necklace and a cross. 🤣🤣🤣
Bare feet, when people cut their nails in public, no leg room in Broadway theatres, when people litter (esp when they don't pick up their dog's poop), the sound of people kissing, when people lick their finger to turn a page, when people don't wash their hands after they use the restroom, etc. Wow, I have a lot of petty disgusts LOL.
Oh and when people take off their shoes on an airplane and then put their foot on the armrest of the chair in front of them. So gross.
You are not alone in your list sister. And I don’t think any of them is petty. They are different cues your system identifies as unsafe. The fun part is figuring out why they may trigger you more than other folks. (I would love to meet the person who is okay with dog shit on the sidewalk tho. Actually I would like to meet rhe person who LEAVES it. 🤬)Wheeeee! 🙃
Oh man, while I would like to pick something that makes me seem less petty/judgmental/elitist...my first thought is things that remind me of my suburban Florida hometown. Sprawling, identical stucco houses with barely any yards and shabby chic decor inside, people who dress in the standard uniform of cargo shorts/flip flops/boat shoes/t shirts (and seem to look down on those who don't??), Panera as the best local "cafe" option and Chik-fil-a worship, no cultural venues. While I moved to a major Florida city, I'm still very close to where they filmed Edward Scissorhands to give you an idea lol. I once received a comment that my look that day seemed very "central Florida" and I took that as one of the most offensive things ever said to me! I felt very suppressed growing up there and was very much ~a loser~ (never did I feel like I could fit in if I wanted to, with my roman nose and excessive hair in Baptist country). There was a scene in Hacks where Jean Smart's character calls out her young protege's elitist overvaluing of the opinions of audiences based in LA and New York as opposed to the midwest as a sign that she is still holding on to not being invited to the cool kids lunch table and I felt very called out haha.
To say i relate to this is an understatement. This isn't petty. It's tapping into the feeling of unworthiness we are still holding from our childhood. It's not about judging the people in central florida but rather judging the central florida in us. (not central florida for me, but you know what i mean). The path toward realizing our own worthiness is so tough but important.
People who don't clean/pick up after themselves, etc. I know this sounds trite and foolish in light of the other posts; but, please hear me out.
Where I live, people are constantly not picking up after themselves, their children and/or their pets. Aside from being unsightly and disgusting, consider the following:
Adults who don't clean up after their young children (i.e. food/trash), themselves or their pets; are in turn contributing to the spread in disease. Does anyone really think about what has been on the walkways before running around in bare feet, track germs into their homes.
Also, when trash is thrown or left on the ground, because we're just too lazy to pick it up, does anyone think about whether or not said trash is able to decompose in a green way?
Oooof...this resonates. I'm not sure how old you are but i'm 49. My friends and i cringe (CRINGE) about how when we were younger we would eat a bag of McDonalds or whatever and just fucking TOSS THE TRASH OUT THE WINDOW! I can't even believe it. It was a different time but how the hell could anyone think that was okay?? I wish i could ask that of my younger self.
I'm a bit older than you and I still can't leave anything on the ground (I hear myself yelling about the planet in my head) that I've even accidentally spilled. ;)
Mark Zuckerberg. I went to college with him and my anecdotal observation is that he is definitely on the spectrum, as am I. In addition to all the harm he’s brought on our democracy, other countries’ institutions, teens’ body image, etc., I hate that he is reinforcing notions of autistic people as icy, amoral, insensitive robots. In reality, the vast majority of us are practically crushed by the weight of our empathy and our deep sadness at the consequences of our innumerable broken systems. He had so much privilege and brainpower and he used it to wreck the world, disgust barely begins to cover it.
He and Facebook trigger so many people. You are right about that.
The recent event where a woman was raped on a PA train with a car full of bystanders who did nothing to stop the assault and just filmed it with their phones, as if that would help deliver justice AFTER THE FACT, instead of saving her BEFORE she was raped, disgusts me so much, it makes me sick to my stomach. The idea that people won't help other people who are visibly in so much pain or danger is unfathomable to me. I get that sometimes you don't know what's going on behind the scenes in someone's life, but in broad daylight like this horrible train event, is utterly disgusting. I'm having a hard time not thinking about it.
Rach, I totally hear you on this. I’m so curious about what was going on for them and what was triggered in them to completely freeze. It touched something deep in me too bc all my life I have wondered about strangers “If I needed you…REALLY needed you, would you be there for me?” And certainly this woman really needed them. It’s soul crushing.
YES. Exactly. You're supposed to feel safe in numbers. Like I always tell my kids to walk down blocks that are crowded, w/ doormen, etc. What if this was us one of our kids, or us? To think that a trainful of people would not help? I can't wrap my brain around it. It's disturbing, disgusting.
Ranch dressing. I can be around it but eating it? No thanks! I'm upset when people dip perfectly good wings or vegetables into that stuff.
Omg. This made me laugh out loud. I TOTALLY agree. (My eldest child would swim in a vat of it if she could!).
omfg I am this person 😂