As a straight person, I'll disagree with the comments below. If you don't find it healthy for you, that's fine, but that doesn't mean it's not healthy for me. I've been married 26 years, I hold no interest in having sex with anyone else, nor would I be unhurt if my wife felt the need for that. We've discussed it, but monogamy works for us
I think a lot of it has more to do with the role sex plays in your life. While we enjoy a healthy sex life, where our needs are being met, neither of us really considers it a primary need at this point. There's daily love and affection, but honestly, sex is really secondary.
Open communication, do what's right for you and your partner (s) , and you'll get no judgement from me - but this works for us
I always found infidelity difficult to process because it was always so much work to find one person I like liked and wanted to spend time with. I don’t know how people manage to find multiple people at the same time.
I think it can be realistic, but I also know I personally couldn't do what my parents did. They were married at 19 in 1970, and my mom pretty much went straight from her parents to living with my dad. She never got the chance to be on her own. Meanwhile, I'm nearing 40 and have never had a relationship for a lot of reasons... And I know I would have to live with someone before being monogamous, and really constantly check in about the status of the relationship, and boundaries. So many relationships fall apart because people want their partners to be their one stop shop for all emotional care, and that's too much pressure!
As a queer person, we start of breaking the traditional rules of a heteronormative relationship construct. As a young person I was idealistic. As a mature person, I don’t see monogamy as natural or healthy. There does need to be honest and trust to maintain a relationship and communication. I feel fortunate to be in this position in life. I do think there is judgement about open relationships from hetero folx.
As a queer person this is definitely discussed more and more generally accepted. My spouse and I have an openish relationship, which is about 95% closed but leaves the conversation open in the future. And we have had sex with someone else together. 💁🏼♀️
Its been my observation that committing to a loving relationship (and really, isn't that the point here?) doesn't really depend on whether the partners are gay or straight; it is about what works for them? If you cheat your 'significant other(s)' you weren't really wanting or ready for a real, honest relationship at all.
Because if you were, you'd also have a care about passing along an STD to your relationship partner as well.
As a straight person, I'll disagree with the comments below. If you don't find it healthy for you, that's fine, but that doesn't mean it's not healthy for me. I've been married 26 years, I hold no interest in having sex with anyone else, nor would I be unhurt if my wife felt the need for that. We've discussed it, but monogamy works for us
I think a lot of it has more to do with the role sex plays in your life. While we enjoy a healthy sex life, where our needs are being met, neither of us really considers it a primary need at this point. There's daily love and affection, but honestly, sex is really secondary.
Open communication, do what's right for you and your partner (s) , and you'll get no judgement from me - but this works for us
So nice for you!! Sounds like you guys are doing great! 🙌🏼
I always found infidelity difficult to process because it was always so much work to find one person I like liked and wanted to spend time with. I don’t know how people manage to find multiple people at the same time.
Haha. I hear you….wish that were my problem tho!
I think it can be realistic, but I also know I personally couldn't do what my parents did. They were married at 19 in 1970, and my mom pretty much went straight from her parents to living with my dad. She never got the chance to be on her own. Meanwhile, I'm nearing 40 and have never had a relationship for a lot of reasons... And I know I would have to live with someone before being monogamous, and really constantly check in about the status of the relationship, and boundaries. So many relationships fall apart because people want their partners to be their one stop shop for all emotional care, and that's too much pressure!
Too much pressure is right my sister.
As a queer person, we start of breaking the traditional rules of a heteronormative relationship construct. As a young person I was idealistic. As a mature person, I don’t see monogamy as natural or healthy. There does need to be honest and trust to maintain a relationship and communication. I feel fortunate to be in this position in life. I do think there is judgement about open relationships from hetero folx.
Thanks for sharing this important perspective. I would love to see us, hetero folx (love that) shift out of these very old fashioned paradigms.
As a queer person this is definitely discussed more and more generally accepted. My spouse and I have an openish relationship, which is about 95% closed but leaves the conversation open in the future. And we have had sex with someone else together. 💁🏼♀️
💁🏻♀️ Is right!
Its been my observation that committing to a loving relationship (and really, isn't that the point here?) doesn't really depend on whether the partners are gay or straight; it is about what works for them? If you cheat your 'significant other(s)' you weren't really wanting or ready for a real, honest relationship at all.
Because if you were, you'd also have a care about passing along an STD to your relationship partner as well.