Thanks so much for sharing this. I terminated a pregnancy at a time in when I was able to afford childcare & was actually TRYING to get pregnant with my partner. I fell into a dark hole of depression around week 7. I thought it was that I shouldn’t have a child, after trying without success for a little while ( seriously, it had only been 6 months & each month was met with hope & each time when I realized I wasn’t pregnant I consoled myself by saying it was better that way, all my time & money was my own, etc). So I thought I had convinced myself that I actually DIDN’T want kids & now I was pregnant. I terminated at week 8. And I didn’t feel this big relief like I thought I would. Instead I still felt sad & a little lost & behold another 6 months went by & I felt the desire to have kids again. This time, I kept my attitude positive & when I found out almost to the day, a year after the first pregnancy that I was pregnant again I was thrilled. But again, the dark hole swallowed me up & realized then it was the hormones. I had never experienced depression like that. It’s hard because I feel it was the right decision at the time & I wouldn’t have ended up with the family I have now if I hadn’t terminated the first pregnancy but also, I feel like I ended the life of an innocent. I don’t know how I could have done it differently without the knowledge I gained by going through it. I think it’s so important to at least have the choice, an option. Especially for girls and women already at risk in their lives.
Thanks so much for sharing this. I terminated a pregnancy at a time in when I was able to afford childcare & was actually TRYING to get pregnant with my partner. I fell into a dark hole of depression around week 7. I thought it was that I shouldn’t have a child, after trying without success for a little while ( seriously, it had only been 6 months & each month was met with hope & each time when I realized I wasn’t pregnant I consoled myself by saying it was better that way, all my time & money was my own, etc). So I thought I had convinced myself that I actually DIDN’T want kids & now I was pregnant. I terminated at week 8. And I didn’t feel this big relief like I thought I would. Instead I still felt sad & a little lost & behold another 6 months went by & I felt the desire to have kids again. This time, I kept my attitude positive & when I found out almost to the day, a year after the first pregnancy that I was pregnant again I was thrilled. But again, the dark hole swallowed me up & realized then it was the hormones. I had never experienced depression like that. It’s hard because I feel it was the right decision at the time & I wouldn’t have ended up with the family I have now if I hadn’t terminated the first pregnancy but also, I feel like I ended the life of an innocent. I don’t know how I could have done it differently without the knowledge I gained by going through it. I think it’s so important to at least have the choice, an option. Especially for girls and women already at risk in their lives.
Beautiful post and perspective ❤️
Powerful.
Moving.
Thank you, Atoosa.