Thanks for sharing Carter. I know if I were editor of Seventeen I would definitely be covering the issue in depth as I hope they are. Important issue of the day for sure as you clarified. ❤️
Grownup enby here, courageously speaking on the unspeakable trans!
If I were given the option as a child, my pronouns would have reflected my AGAB. I was born with a vagina and was socialized very very femme. I liked being a really femme kid. Girlhood was great! Womanhood? Not for me.
If you wanted to be called a boy, and people had called you a boy, what do you think would have happened? Let’s take the realities of prejudice aside—if everyone said “we love and accept you unconditionally,” what would happen? Is there something fundamentally dangerous about having an idea about your gender or expression that changes over time?
If you felt like a girl by the time you were in your teen years, would your previous identification as a boy have changed that? I personally don’t think so. For all the trans kids who KNEW their gender right away, there are plenty of others whose understanding of their gender grew and changed with time and maturity.
I think we should listen to kids when they tell us who they are. If they’re surrounded by love and acceptance, it will be easier for them to be their authentic selves, whatever that might be. And it might change! And that’s okay! But it’s a very, very basic level of autonomy that they deserve to have.
I’m wading through this. It’s really kind of not easy to understand though I have to say. It may be bc my working memory is impacted by my dyslexia but it will take me a while to really thoughtfully go through this. But I’m grateful you sent it to me. I’ve been curious about Buck bc I know he seems to rub a lot of folks the wrong way.
I hear you. I appreciate you. I don’t mean to make this about trans kids. I have two non binary children I accept wholeheartedly. I get worried about medical interventions on children. But again, I love that we can dialogue about this in community. I love hearing the bits of your story you have shared with me here and privately. I wish loving community were more common.
Well, it is at least a little bit about trans kids, it’s clearly something weighing on your mind :)
I’m not seeing a push in the trans community for children to have affirmative surgeries… what I am seeing in the medical sphere of things is that we want kids to have access to puberty blockers if they feel that’s right for them. Puberty blockers can make the more permanent transitions easier when the individual reaches the point when they’re able to make these kinds of decisions. And if the individual on puberty blockers changes their mind, it’s completely reversible. They would simply continue their puberty that aligns with their AGAB once they stop taking the blockers.
Thanks for sharing Carter. I know if I were editor of Seventeen I would definitely be covering the issue in depth as I hope they are. Important issue of the day for sure as you clarified. ❤️
Grownup enby here, courageously speaking on the unspeakable trans!
If I were given the option as a child, my pronouns would have reflected my AGAB. I was born with a vagina and was socialized very very femme. I liked being a really femme kid. Girlhood was great! Womanhood? Not for me.
If you wanted to be called a boy, and people had called you a boy, what do you think would have happened? Let’s take the realities of prejudice aside—if everyone said “we love and accept you unconditionally,” what would happen? Is there something fundamentally dangerous about having an idea about your gender or expression that changes over time?
If you felt like a girl by the time you were in your teen years, would your previous identification as a boy have changed that? I personally don’t think so. For all the trans kids who KNEW their gender right away, there are plenty of others whose understanding of their gender grew and changed with time and maturity.
I think we should listen to kids when they tell us who they are. If they’re surrounded by love and acceptance, it will be easier for them to be their authentic selves, whatever that might be. And it might change! And that’s okay! But it’s a very, very basic level of autonomy that they deserve to have.
Oh carter, I also meant to ask you what do you think about Buck Angel?
Not a fan. Here's why:
https://kittystryker.medium.com/statement-on-buck-angel-and-trans-men-fight-back-8a3dc21e984a
https://juliaserano.medium.com/making-sense-of-autogynephilia-debates-73d9051e88d3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVCw97P-o7I
I'm personally not sex-positive so I can't speak to any of the conversations surrounding that. But I largely disagree with his trans* opinions.
I’m wading through this. It’s really kind of not easy to understand though I have to say. It may be bc my working memory is impacted by my dyslexia but it will take me a while to really thoughtfully go through this. But I’m grateful you sent it to me. I’ve been curious about Buck bc I know he seems to rub a lot of folks the wrong way.
Ultimately, what I’m gently pushing back against is the idea that it’s some kind of a big, serious choice. It doesn’t have to be!
I hear you. I appreciate you. I don’t mean to make this about trans kids. I have two non binary children I accept wholeheartedly. I get worried about medical interventions on children. But again, I love that we can dialogue about this in community. I love hearing the bits of your story you have shared with me here and privately. I wish loving community were more common.
Well, it is at least a little bit about trans kids, it’s clearly something weighing on your mind :)
I’m not seeing a push in the trans community for children to have affirmative surgeries… what I am seeing in the medical sphere of things is that we want kids to have access to puberty blockers if they feel that’s right for them. Puberty blockers can make the more permanent transitions easier when the individual reaches the point when they’re able to make these kinds of decisions. And if the individual on puberty blockers changes their mind, it’s completely reversible. They would simply continue their puberty that aligns with their AGAB once they stop taking the blockers.
82% of trans individuals have considered suicide; 40% of them have attempted it. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32345113/
This is where I feel the seriousness of the issue more strongly.
All said with love. I think these conversations are important to have and I appreciate this space you’ve built for them ❤️