Yes, I feel so much of this. I made the switch from marketing pro to freelance writer about eight years ago. How I work with people has changed so much. I used to spend so much of my day maintaining boundaries, holding my ground, and "teaching" people how to work with me and my team. Now I can focus so much more on my actual work. It's so much easier to let things go when you're hired to simply deliver a product, not manage a workplace. That's the good part. But the structure and easy-to-understand markers of success -- titles, promotions, salaries -- are missing. You start to feel like you're behind, not pushing yourself, wasting your talent... but is that just because that external validation is missing? Or is it actually true? Will I regret getting out of the game, or will the things I accomplish on my own stand the test of time? SO MANY QUESTIONS.
Jess, thank you for having the courage to share your experience. This is such fertile ground and perhaps groundbreaking in an era where everyone considers themselves and expert and an influencer. To say “I don’t know” is actually quite baller. I bow to you. Oh and I relate to the external validation piece. I find myself being the BEST patient to my orthodonist (my Invisalign is out for like an hour max a day 🤪🤦🏻♀️) so I can earn his “Good girl!”
And i'm laughing because I read your name as Jessica because I was reading on my phone. So all my bluster about not needing readers just went out the window too. Truly humbled (but my oral hygiene is on point like yours so we're still winning!). 🤪
ha! the internal life has never ending pathways, i guess! I prefer playing it out on the inside than the outside - perhaps that is bc i'm an introvert. lol
I think, and this is from the outside looking in, that you are already doing something big. With this post, with all your posts, you ARE a leader. Not a leader in the sense of telling your readers what to do, but by sharing pieces of yourself, the good and not so good, and showing readers we are not alone. And that you are doing the work, and asking questions we should ask ourselves when we are ready. We can all relate to some piece of your story, whether we are 20 years old or 60 years old, I know that I do. So maybe you've started the next thing you are meant to do by finding peace, writing to your readers and by default inspiring women to look deeper. You do for me. So thank you.
Thanks, Yael, for this kind and generous reflection. It’s an odd feeling to be renegotiating ones relationship with power and place in the world. Especially since I’ve always been so sure of everything. I truly don’t know what the answer is, but to your point all I can do is just continue to ask the questions and and dialogue with my community, including you. As Rilke said, “ Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer." With love and gratitude xa
Yes, I feel so much of this. I made the switch from marketing pro to freelance writer about eight years ago. How I work with people has changed so much. I used to spend so much of my day maintaining boundaries, holding my ground, and "teaching" people how to work with me and my team. Now I can focus so much more on my actual work. It's so much easier to let things go when you're hired to simply deliver a product, not manage a workplace. That's the good part. But the structure and easy-to-understand markers of success -- titles, promotions, salaries -- are missing. You start to feel like you're behind, not pushing yourself, wasting your talent... but is that just because that external validation is missing? Or is it actually true? Will I regret getting out of the game, or will the things I accomplish on my own stand the test of time? SO MANY QUESTIONS.
Jess, thank you for having the courage to share your experience. This is such fertile ground and perhaps groundbreaking in an era where everyone considers themselves and expert and an influencer. To say “I don’t know” is actually quite baller. I bow to you. Oh and I relate to the external validation piece. I find myself being the BEST patient to my orthodonist (my Invisalign is out for like an hour max a day 🤪🤦🏻♀️) so I can earn his “Good girl!”
haha, yes! Please tell me you can notice that I've been flossing! I'm a better flosser than the average patient, right??!! <3
And i'm laughing because I read your name as Jessica because I was reading on my phone. So all my bluster about not needing readers just went out the window too. Truly humbled (but my oral hygiene is on point like yours so we're still winning!). 🤪
No worries! (Cheers-ing you with a shot glass of Listerine.)
Atoosa! What a year you've had! And it is only January!!
ha! the internal life has never ending pathways, i guess! I prefer playing it out on the inside than the outside - perhaps that is bc i'm an introvert. lol
I think, and this is from the outside looking in, that you are already doing something big. With this post, with all your posts, you ARE a leader. Not a leader in the sense of telling your readers what to do, but by sharing pieces of yourself, the good and not so good, and showing readers we are not alone. And that you are doing the work, and asking questions we should ask ourselves when we are ready. We can all relate to some piece of your story, whether we are 20 years old or 60 years old, I know that I do. So maybe you've started the next thing you are meant to do by finding peace, writing to your readers and by default inspiring women to look deeper. You do for me. So thank you.
Thanks, Yael, for this kind and generous reflection. It’s an odd feeling to be renegotiating ones relationship with power and place in the world. Especially since I’ve always been so sure of everything. I truly don’t know what the answer is, but to your point all I can do is just continue to ask the questions and and dialogue with my community, including you. As Rilke said, “ Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer." With love and gratitude xa